Joyful Sorrow

The Christian religion is, in a sense, a religion of paradoxes. One becomes great, by becoming lowly. One becomes a king by becoming a servant. One only becomes a true individual by being united with Christ. C.S. Lewis said it well when he said, “How monotonously alike all of the great tyrants and conquerors have been: how gloriously different are the saints.” One of the most misunderstood paradoxes of Holy Writ is that we find our greatest joy by embracing and enduring suffering. I have often been puzzled by such passages as Hebrews 12:2, Acts 5:41, and 2 Corinthians 6:10. How can Christ view the cross upon which He was to die and have it described as the “joy that was set before him”? How can the apostles rejoice because they were “counted worthy to suffer”? And how is it that Paul can describe himself as “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing”? These seem to us to be contradictions, and yet the reality of joyful sorrow is one of the most beautiful truths to be found in the sacred text.

I think that the answer as to how any suffering can be joyful is to be found in the true source of joy, and that source is love. It is the case that we cannot be truly happy, truly filled with joy, unless we are filled with love, which is another way of saying that we are filled with God (cf. 1 John 4:8). Only the water of life so satisfies one so that he never thirsts again (cf. John 4:14). It is only when we hunger for righteousness that we will ever be filled (cf. Matthew 5:6). God alone is the fountain of living water (cf. Jeremiah 2:13). Take a moment and honestly ask yourself when you have been happiest. I have an idea that it was during a time when you were the most loving towards another person. Some may find it odd that the times of greatest happiness are not when we are receiving grand acts of love but when we are the ones performing those acts. Is it any wonder then that the greatest commands are to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and our neighbor as ourselves? It is at those times that we are nearest to God, and therefore, the most happy. It is love itself that brings us the truest joy. How then does suffering play a part in this joy?

It is the case that the greatest expressions of love take place during periods of the greatest suffering. Love that only expresses itself during the “good times” is a very shallow love indeed. “For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? Do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? Do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:46-48). The greatest love is practiced when our love is not returned. That is why Christ says unto us, “Love your enemies, bless them which curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). This is the reason that God’s love for us is so grand, so immense, so wonderful, awesome, and unfathomable! Because it was “while we were yet sinners that Christ died for us!” (Romans 5:8, emphasis mine). It was while we were enemies of God that He sent His Son (Romans 5:10). Some may die for a righteous man, some may perhaps die for a good man, but what man among us would give his life for his enemy (cf. Romans 5:7)? That is true love indeed. When we observe a man and woman who live happy fruitful lives together until they are parted by death, we are touched by that kind of love. But are we not touched even more by the man who cares for and loves his wife even while, because of a debilitating mental disease, she fails to remember his name? We are moved by a couple who remain faithful to each other for 65 years. But is it not sometimes more moving to see the woman who is reconciled to her husband after he has committed adultery? Here we might borrow words from the Proverb writer to say “If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy love indeed is small.”

This is why the death of Christ can be described as a joy that was set before Him. Never has God’s love been so clearly and so beautifully demonstrated as it was upon the cross. “For God SO loved the world, that He gave His Only-Begotten Son!” (John 3:16, emphasis mine). The performance of love itself brings true and lasting happiness. This is why the apostles could rejoice when suffering for the name of Christ. Their love for Him was never more concrete than it was when they suffered for His name. This is why Paul could describe himself as sorrowful and yet always rejoicing, because expressing love for God and for others is the only lasting joy. All others are transient. If it is love itself that brings joy, and it is, and if our love’s greatest expression is found amidst suffering, and it is, then it is amidst suffering that we find our greatest joy.

I will close with one very small and admittedly inadequate personal illustration. Just two days ago I had a conversation with a man about Christ and His church. We met and parted in disagreement. Civil though it was, it was an uncomfortable conversation. That kind of discomfort is not a condition that I long for. I would rather not be uncomfortable given my choice. The strange thing about the conversation is that in its midst I cracked a smile. Now, a short moment of minor discomfort and true suffering are worlds apart but love expressed during moments of discomfort is still a grander expression than one that exists with no discomfort at all. I could have freed myself from discomfort by giving up truth. I could have simply said, “Yes, I agree. You have your truth and I have mine” but that would not have been faithful to my God and it certainly would not have been a demonstration of my love for Him. Therefore, it was only when I held my ground for the glory of God, uncomfortable though it was, that I was able to smile. I should think that had I been a coward, and fled from duty, that I would have found myself in a great deal of sadness after the fact. Though I would have escaped the undesirable moment, surely I would have been overcome with guilt at having prostituted myself to the god of Comfort.

Let me say one final word concerning finding our joy in the expression of love. Finding joy in the demonstration of love is only possible when it is demonstrated for love’s sake. One who pleases himself by saying,” Ah ha! I have arrived. I am now a loving person. What a great person I am!” makes himself a prideful person, not a loving one. This kind of “love” is not love at all because true love “is not puffed up” (1 Corinthians 13:4). The man who “loves” in order to be seen by God, by other people, or far worse, by himself, as “loving” finds no true and lasting joy. This kind of thing seeks love as a means to joy and finds neither one. Larry Kreeft said, “We rob ourselves of joy by seeking to rid our lives of suffering.” If in this life we seek only joy, we miss both love and joy. But if we seek love for love’s sake alone, we gain both love and joy. It is when we are loving that we are nearest to God because it is then that we are most like Him (cf. 1 John 4:8; Matthew 5:48), and He is the only One who can truly satisfy.