Letters To a Friend: Living Deliberately and Carefree

Here I will write concerning living deliberately and carefree. Since this has been a matter of some contention between us I will be as clear and precise as I can. I think that perhaps one of the reasons we have disagreed on this point is our failure to agree on our terms. Therefore, I will give extra attention to the definitions of the words “deliberately” and “carefree.”

When I speak of living deliberately I am speaking of living on purpose, or with purpose, and direction. My experiences with myself and others have lead me to believe that people often lead with their natural appetites and emotions. Sadly, our passions are often selfish. In their most natural state they are only concerned with self gratification and self preservation. My purpose here is not to discredit passion—a life without passion is an empty one—but simply to encourage you to be wary of its direction and end. God gave us our emotions and passions. They are what make life precious and enjoyable, but only when they are directed aright by our intellect. Anything that God has given us, if used improperly, is a cause of sorrow, not joy. Living deliberately then is about directing our passions and emotions “on purpose.” Rather than being a servant to our passions, and allowing them to control us, we must be their master and control them. Even Paul, when speaking of his own passions, said, “I will not be brought under the power of any.”

So, how are you to apply this practically? Whatever things you like, or as we are prone to say, whatever things you “love” should be subject to the question and direction of your intellect in order to live on purpose. If you are simply blown by the winds of your passions then you cannot live a fulfilling deliberate life. You will not arrive at any place “on purpose.” You will only land where the winds of passion take you. If you live in this way it will be as if your life were a paper-airplane. With no pilot and only the wind to give it direction, you never know where it will land or how far the plane will fly. You only begin to live deliberately when you trade in your paper- airplane for a real one and decide to pilot the plane yourself. Now you have control of the plane. You can direct it through the turbulent winds, even use the winds to your benefit, and when the winds alone have taken you as far as they can, you can travel even farther by the motor of intellect. When you have done this you can decide when and where your plane will land. A person who does not live deliberately will direct his passions selfishly at best; at worst he will not direct them at all.

The person who does not direct his passions at all is modeled by many Americans. He is ruled by his passions and not the ruler of them. This person has no idea where he wants to go but isn’t bothered too much by it because he hasn’t given it much thought. He is content to work the same job day to day, not because he really likes it, but because it allows him to pay the cable bill. This person lives to eat, sleep, work, and play (with whatever time he may have after eating, sleeping, and working). This is the person who “vegges” in front of the television every night, and “vegging” is a very accurate description. Living this way is closer to living the life of a vegetable than it is to being human. This person does nothing significant with his life. He has chosen the path of least resistance. This half-life requires hardly any effort at all and leads to a miserable and ultimately unfulfilling existence. This is the paper-airplane life. He was cast to the wind and very shortly thereafter made a nose dive towards the couch in front of the television.

Now, for some the paper-airplane life is just too sloppy. They know that they want more, so they use their passions to get them there. They get out of the house instead of watching television, and they pursue a career instead of a dead-end job. They direct their passions, but only to selfish ends; either to become rich, or simply to please themselves. Again, I am not discouraging the pursuit of passion. I strongly believe that every person should pursue something about which they are very passionate. I just believe that the most fulfilling things, the things that we can pursue with the most passion, are things which extend beyond ourselves and our passions alone very seldom lead us there; they must be poked, prodded, directed, and carried farther by our intellect. Our passions only serve ourselves only. We must make the intellectual decision to direct our passions away from ourselves in order to make them serve something greater. Is it any wonder that Jesus says we must deny ourselves in order to follow Him? If a person only serves himself I am afraid that he will be disappointed. For example, if a man were to become a doctor simply because he loves medicine and it pleases him to practice it, he would find himself dissatisfied with his life in a very short time. Being lead by his passions only, he chose an occupation to serve himself only. One might object and say, “But a doctor does not serve himself, he serves other people.” Ah, but in this case his service to others is only accidental. It was not part of the motivation that drove the man to choose the profession. Think here of Paul’s statement, “Though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love, it profiteth me nothing.” Feeding the poor will help others, but without the motivation of love this service is only accidental and it profits nothing. Motivation matters. This doctor’s decision was wholly selfish. He chose it only because he enjoyed it, and that is as far as the winds of passion alone can take him. This life is a step up. We might call this the hang-glider life. This person knows where he wants to go and is able to use the winds of passion to get him there, but he can only go as far as the wind will take him, and it can take him no farther than the Landing Pad of Self. He has no motor to take him any farther than that. Altogether, he is still at the mercy of his passions. This life gets nearer to the destination, but still does not arrive at the goal of living deliberately.

I should think that if a man were to become a doctor with the intention of helping others that not only would he be a better doctor but a much happier man as well. That decision would not only be a passionate one, but a deliberate one also. That would be the airplane life. He uses the wind for his flight but he is not controlled by it. Not only is he able to give his passion direction, but when the wind brings him to the Landing Pad of Self, he has the power to fly onward to the Land of True Fulfillment in the country of Contribution to Others.

Living deliberately is not ignoring passion. Neither is it directing your passions selfishly or allowing them to blow you wherever they want (which usually is not very far). Living deliberately is about recognizing your passions, directing them on purpose, and making the intellectual decision to push them beyond yourself. A selfish “purpose” is hardly a purpose at all because you are the one primarily served by it. What is done for others is not done “on purpose” but only accidentally. Therefore, what good is accomplished by you mostly dies with you, and we are all quickly headed to the grave. William Law wrote, “No one is to live in his employment for such ends as please his own fancy, but is to do all his business in such a manner as to make it a service unto God.” In this we hear echoes of the first Corinthian letter, “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” So then, I commend these things to you with a hearty “Amen.”

But what if a man’s motive of passion is hidden from him? What if a man is stirred to pursue music but he is unable to discern whether his intentions are selfish or whether they serve something beyond himself? Should he proceed and pursue his passion anyway? This is a particularly difficult question but one that must be addressed because I have found it to be the rule, not the exception. Sometimes people like a thing because it serves themselves. Other times they like doing things because they contribute to others, but they are unaware that this is part of their satisfaction. Most often people “just like” to do things and cannot give reasons as to why. All that I have learned thus far leads me to say, “Yes, such a person should still pursue his passion.” Though this life later may be discovered to be the life of a hang-glider it is still better than the paper-airplane. At least in this life he may serve others accidentally. The paper-airplane hardly serves anyone, even by accident. So, though I believe that he should still pursue his work, I will offer these three suggestions.

First, he must make sure that he has truly questioned himself. Very often the only reason a man has not discovered his motive is because he has not cared to look for it. Sometimes men will not give this an honest effort because it proves too difficult, but we must remember that the most difficult things are often the things most worth our time.

Second, if after making a valiant effort to discern his motives they are still hidden from him, he should proceed. However, as he goes forward he should not forget about the importance of motive and regularly report for heart check-ups (the spiritual kind). Sometimes a man’s reasons for doing things are not immediately evident, but if he will proceed and continue to question his motives they will reveal themselves.

Third, what if, after pursuing his passion, he discovers it to have been followed for self gratification only? I can see only two options available to the man who would live deliberately, and one of these is to be preferred over the other. Once a man is granted the wisdom and humility to admit that his passion has been self serving he can either abandon this work in order to find another which he can pursue unselfishly, or he can give a new direction to his existing one, and extend it beyond himself. He can return the hang-glider and trade it in for a real airplane, or he can build a motor while he glides. I should think that the latter of these two options is preferable. Abandoning any passion, regardless of how selfish one recognizes it to be, is difficult and not easily accomplished; however, there may be occasions where this is the only option. The goal of living deliberately is to live both a passionate and purposeful life: passionate because you do what you love, and purposeful because you do it for others as well as yourself.

Now, we move onward to living carefree. When I say “carefree” I do not mean a life that is lived without caring for anything. If that were my definition then living deliberately and living carefree would certainly be in opposition to one another because living deliberately involves pursuing those things for which you care most. When I speak of living carefree I mean this in the biblical sense; I mean living without worry. I am sorry to say that this is a very difficult thing to do.

First, in order to live carefree you must live deliberately. It is the fear of the unlived life that causes a person to worry most. They worry that their lives are being wasted, and what’s worse is that many of them are being wasted. Don’t waste yours. Make your life extraordinary.

Second, in order to live carefree you must accept failure. We will only be perfect in the life after this one, but that is God’s business, not our own. In this life you are certain to be imperfect and you must accept that. This does not mean living a mediocre life. That would also contradict the deliberate life. What this does mean is that you no longer worry about being perfect. If you are set on being perfect then you will never be happy or worry free because you will never attain that on which your happiness depends. It is a paradox, but not accepting failure is what makes us feel the most like failures, and accepting failure is what makes us feel the most successful. If you are a perfectionist then all you will ever see are your imperfections. However, if you accept imperfection as a part of the human condition then you are free to recognize the things that you have accomplished. Accepting failure allows one to forget about being “best” and to be satisfied with getting better. We must grow as individuals in order to live happy carefree lives, but it is the journey of growth that we must enjoy, not the unattainable destination of perfection.

Allow me to explain further. If I accept failure as a certainty then its arrival will not shake me. Life will be exactly what I expected it to be, and disappointment only comes from unmet expectations. If I expect to be perfect, then I can expect to be disappointed. However, if I expect to be imperfect then I will not be surprised when I find that I am (nor will I be dissatisfied when I discover that others are imperfect, but that is a discussion for another time). It needs to be said that expecting to be imperfect does not mean expecting to be bad. As I grow as a person, I am better, not worse, though I am still imperfect. I have more successes, but always with some failures. Also, when I speak of expecting failure I do not mean that one expects failure at every attempt, only that given a long enough time line everyone will eventually fail. Some may think that accepting failure is a deterrent to the pursuit of success and greatness, but it is just the opposite. People often do not pursue greatness because they fear failure (the lack of perfection). People who accept imperfection as a reality fear failure much less, or not at all, and thereby free themselves to pursue extraordinary lives. If Thomas Edison had expected to create the light bulb upon his first attempt then he would have been disappointed, and he may have even quit, but because he accepted failure as a part of the process he was not deterred from his success. He saw failure as one step closer to the goal. He is reported as having said something like, “I did not fail a thousand times. I successfully found a thousand ways not to make the light bulb.” Whether or not he actually said that is a matter of some debate, but it still teaches this important truth: failures are not only certain, but necessary, to success. To reject failure is to reject great success. Whenever we view our failures in this light (no pun intended) they become triumphs. Our failures often teach us what not to do. You see then how that the expectation of failure results in more success, not less.

Let us go further. There is a sense in which Edison failed even after creating a working light bulb. If we ask the question, “Did he create a perfect light bulb?” We would have to answer, “No.” His light bulb is still being improved, and perfection by definition cannot be improved. Now, what if he had been satisfied with nothing less than perfection? He would have been a rather miserable man. Not only that, we may not have the light bulb today. If he had been satisfied with nothing short of perfect then he may not have thought his success to be worth sharing. Edison may have said, “I failed. I’ve created a shining pear with a very short life. How useless! This glowing piece of junk is not even worth sharing!” He may have burned his research, returned home, and wallowed in self pity being disappointed, down trodden, depressed, and completely unhappy. Thankfully, that is not the kind of person Edison was. He knew that his bulb was not perfect, but he (and the light bulb for that matter) had grown. He had gone farther than anybody else. Instead of hiding his imperfection, he gave it to the world. The world then took what they also recognized to be imperfect, and made it even better. If I were to tell you a story about a world which thanked, rewarded, and praised failure and imperfection you might call me crazy, but that’s exactly what the world has done with Thomas Edison. In our present world, so concerned with perfection, we have often overlooked the beauty of imperfection. Do not worry about failure. It is going to come. You cannot avoid it. Instead, accept failure as a stepping stone to greater success.

Third, in order to live carefree you must free yourself from worldly attachments. Everything is transient. Let me repeat that. Everything is transient. Everything. This includes your life. It includes my life. And it includes all of our possessions. Whatever you have today you will not have forever, either by life or by death, either by the passage of time or the end of time.

The first and easiest things from which you must rid yourself of attachment are possessions. Things. Stuff. In the past year I have known two people who were brought to sobbing tears because their vehicles were not working properly. Their vehicles were not irreparable; they were both fixed in fact. But while their vehicles remained damaged their lives were miserable. I cannot refrain from quoting Jesus on this point. “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon the earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” If your happiness has strings attached to stuff then when those strings are cut, and they will be cut, your happiness will float away. Living carefree is about not worrying and the chorus in this same section of the Bible is “Do not worry!” Listen to Jesus again, “Is not the life more than food, and the body than raiment?” You are not your clothes. You are not your khakis. You are not your shoes. You are not your stuff! That is not your life. Food and clothes are necessary to sustain life, but what life is is so much more! And really, do our things make us happy? We all know deep down that they do not. One of the most cliché proverbs tossed around is “Money can’t buy happiness.” So why do we keep acting like it can? You cannot be attached to things because you will constantly worry about when those things will disappear, and let me assure you, they will disappear.

Finally, you cannot be attached to life; not your life, or the life of others. You may think that I am being cold here but allow me to explain. One who worries about his life or the life of another becomes preoccupied with its end and vain attempts to extend it. In doing so a person loses the capacity to enjoy life. The sooner you accept your mortality the sooner you are free to enjoy the time you have. The one who worries about his death becomes sad when he sees beauty because he does not know how long he will be able to enjoy it. Some men even become angry with God in view of death. However, the man who accepts his mortality sees the same beauty and treasures its view because he knows his time with it is short. He will “suck all the marrow” out of every moment. That same man will turn in praise and blessing to God because he was allowed to enjoy the moment. The one who worries about the death of a loved one becomes preoccupied with the time that he does not have with that person rather than the time that he does have. The one who accepts the temporary nature of life appreciates the smile of their loved one even more. He savors every laugh, takes notice of every tear, and thanks God because he is there, then, at that moment. Live in the moment; do not worry about the future. “Take no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.” All we have is now, and life is never more beautiful or more real than it is right now.

When you free yourself from the attachment to others you should not only accept the reality of losing them to death, you must also accept the reality of losing them to change. Sometimes people move away. Sometimes people drift apart. The people that you have in your life right now may not be there tomorrow, not because they have died, but for some other reason. This often tempts me to hold on tighter in an attempt to keep them from drifting away, but I have found that letting go actually allows me to love them more. True love is love that seeks the best for the other person. When I try to hold on what I am really saying is, “Having me in your life is what is best for you.” But what if it isn’t? What if what is best for them is out there, beyond the horizon, away from myself? Will I hold on anyway? If I do then I am not being loving, I am being selfish. I am keeping them close, not because I love them, but because I love myself, because it makes me happy to have them there. When I accept the possibility of losing people to change, not only does it allow me to love them more fiercely, but it makes me less sad when they leave. I suppose if I were to do it perfectly I would not be sad at all, but as we have already discussed, none of us are perfect. The only way to free yourself from worry is to have nothing to worry about. You do not worry about losing things, because they are not that important anyway, and you do not worry about losing people because that only ruins the time you have with them. Besides, what’s best for them might be over the horizon.

Living deliberately and living carefree are not in opposition to one another, in fact, they are necessary to one another. You cannot live deliberately if you are full of worry because your doubts and fears will stop you from pursuing your passions. You cannot live carefree if you do not pursue your passions because the thing which causes the most worry is the possibility of a wasted life, and rightly so. Don’t waste your life. Appreciate what life is, not what it needs. Live deeply. Love fiercely. That is a life worth living.

Letters To a Friend: Getting to Know Yourself

In my previous letter I wrote about the two things necessary to becoming a true individual: first, knowing yourself, and second, obeying yourself. I thought that I might offer some advice concerning getting to know yourself. I do not know whether I can say anything worthwhile, or anything that you do not already know, but I do know that traveling inside myself has been one of the most beneficial things I have ever done and I am confident that you also will be benefited by the exercise.

I should begin by telling why this is important. Individuals who do not examine themselves do themselves a great injury. Those who do not know themselves well cannot form strong, meaningful, and lasting relationships to the same degree as those that do. Mature relationships are only formed when people are able to share themselves and a person cannot share himself if he does not know himself. That would be like trying to give someone a gift that you do not possess. This person also robs himself of an intimate relationship with God for the same reason. Being molded by God means wrestling with ourselves in His presence, and how can we wrestle with an enemy whom we have never met, namely ourselves? This means knowing ourselves, our temptations, and our weaknesses in order that we might present them to God in asking for grace and mercy whereby we might overcome these things. Does not that holy apostle give us this command, “Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith”? What purpose would this examination serve if not to surrender what faults we find unto our merciful God? Indeed, self-exploration is not only practically beneficial, it is disciplined obedience.

The first advice I have is very simple: start. As I mentioned before, being human means being dust. You only have a limited amount of time to explore yourself. Time wasted in this area is time stolen from our individuality itself. You should start this practice as soon as possible because the best way to learn anything is to do it. All that I can offer in this letter are things that I have tried and that have worked for me in my experience, but I cannot say with certainty whether or not they will work for you. Perhaps they can be at least a starting place, but you must find your own way of searching yourself. The sooner you begin the discipline the sooner you will find your own way.

Second, take time alone. When all of your time is spent with others you only hear what they think of you, what things they think you ought to do, and who they think you ought to be. If enough time passes in this manner you soon forget what ideas are your own and which are theirs. In this way, you become more like them and less like yourself. Your concern is how to be an original, not a copy, how to be a creation, not an imitation, how to be a voice and not an echo. Time spent with others is necessary because they challenge us, try our ideas, and balance our judgments, but you need time to sift through those things and determine how much of what you have left is really you.

Third, you must question yourself. Nothing in you is unworthy of question, and you should never be satisfied with simple answers. The most important answers are found under the big questions. They are found in the why, in your motive and purpose, because those are the things that are nearest to the soul. If I were to ask you why you are a Christian you might respond that you are a Christian because you want to go to Heaven. That is a valid answer, and a good one, but it is ultimately simple and shallow. The richer answer lies in your motive. You must question yourself again. Ask yourself why. Why do you want to go to Heaven? Is it because you fear Hell? Or is it perhaps because you have been told that you ought to want to go to Heaven? Is it because you understand Heaven to be the best of the only two options? If there were a third option, not quite so bad as Hell, but not quite so good as Heaven, would you choose it instead? Do you want to go to Heaven because you want to know God in His fullness? Because He is the Father that makes Heaven your home? Or, because He is the One who has provided for you, and the One whom you wish to thank for His care? Is it because He is the Husband that has loved you dearly and drawn you to His bosom to have and to hold and to cherish? Does there exist some other reason that you want to go to Heaven? Or perhaps a combination of these reasons? Only you have your answers. This is an example of when the answers most worth having are the hardest to find.

I might also ask you why you want to travel. Is it because you want to be able to say that you have seen it? So that when Ireland comes up in casual conversation (and really, how often does that happen?), you can say that you have been there? Is it so that people can admire you for being what they consider well-traveled? Or is there some other motive? I could ask you why you enjoy band, why certain songs move you, or why there is tension in your relationship with your mother. Nothing is unworthy of question because all of these things are part of you and in order to know yourself you must know all of your parts. The important thing to remember is to take every question, no matter how grand or how simple, and to search for the big answers. Dig down deep. Struggle with yourself to find the motives of your soul, the passions of your heart, and the purposes of your intellect.

Finally, you must react. Reacting to what you find inside of yourself will often lead you deeper inside and draw you nearer to the fullness of your individuality. If you were to discover that you sought Heaven in an attempt to avoid Hell, would you be satisfied with that answer? If so, then your job would be done until you are ready to question yourself again (and we must never stop questioning ourselves because that is when we stop growing). But, if you are not satisfied with your answer, will you work to change your purpose? And how will you change it? If you found that your desire to travel was fueled by the desire to say that you have seen it, and to feel accomplished in that area of your life, would you be satisfied with that motive? If you are, then you must react to it and see what new things your travels will reveal about yourself. Go! Do! See what you want to see! But what if you are not satisfied with that motive? Then perhaps travel is not as important to you as you had once thought it to be. Perhaps it is an ambition that you should forfeit in exchange for one which you find you have a better reason to pursue. Or, maybe, you will still travel. But maybe you will pursue your travels with a different and renewed purpose of heart, with a motive that you judge to be better than the one you had before. The important thing to remember is that no matter what answers you find in yourself you must react to them. If you judge them to be satisfactory answers then your responsibility is to commit to those answers passionately. If you do not judge them to be satisfactory then you still have a responsibility, albeit a different one. In such cases your responsibility is to work to find the satisfactory answers that you lack which means reforming yourself and converting your heart. Reacting to what you find inside yourself is of the utmost importance. When you find your answers you must ask, “So what?” Otherwise, you have all of the facts and none of the power. You have all of the fuel and none of the flame. You have all of the potential and none of the influence. You have all of the knowledge, and none of the wisdom.

I have not judged your motives. I have only used the things I mentioned here as illustrations of a point. I do not know why you are a Christian (sometimes I feel as if I hardly know why I am one myself). Even if I did know why you are a Christian, it would not be my place to judge your motive. Of course I believe that some motives are better than others, but that has little to do with you. I do not know your motives for wanting to travel. Again, even if I did, what I think about your motives is unimportant as it pertains to getting to know yourself. Of course, I believe that some motives are better than others, but my word carries very little weight in the universe. God is judge. This leads me to my final word.

Getting to know yourself is not the end or goal of the experience, God is. Part of the “so-what” is “So what does God think of who I am, why I am who I am, and what I am doing with who I am?” Getting to know yourself is not about making yourself who you want to be, it is about allowing God to make us into who He wants us to be. Left to ourselves we would all be exactly alike. God is the potter, and we are the clay. He is the only one that can make us into true individuals. C.S. Lewis said, “How monotonously alike all the great tyrants and conquerors have been: how gloriously different are the saints.” Getting to know yourself should not be humanistic, or prideful, or vain. It is about knowing all your different parts so that you can surrender them all to God. You cannot give to God what you do not know, or will not admit exists.

Know yourself, and then give yourself to God so that He can do with you what He wills.

Letters To a Friend: What Makes Your Life Significant?

Being inspired by the words of Cornel West as delivered during a lecture at Harvard University during April of 2010 I wanted to share some thoughts with you. You have become my confidant and whenever I have something worth sharing it is with you that I want to share it.

Who are you Courtney? And what will you become? We have talked about this before but it is a question that we should never allow to slip from our minds. You must continually struggle with yourself to find who you are and what makes your life significant. Concerning this, the first thing that must be acknowledged is that though these are two different questions, “Who are you?” and, “What makes your life significant?” they carry with them an inherent connection. It is who you are that makes your life significant. It is the sacredness of your individuality that gives you value.

When you ask yourself, “Who am I?” the most basic answer you can give is, “I am human.” Although this answer is more concerned with what you are rather than who you are, it still leads in the right direction I think. If Cornel West is right, the word human comes from the Latin word humando which means “burying.” The common characteristic of all humans is that we are all destined for the grave, we will all be buried. Dust we are, and to dust we shall return. The first part of knowing who you are is knowing what you are, and what you are is human. Temporary. Dust. But you must not stop there. You are more than that.

“Human” is such a broad term and value, or significance, is not indicated by such broad terms. “Rock” is a descriptive term but it does not indicate the intense value that the more specific term “diamond” does. A diamonds is a rock, yes, but it is different from all others and therein lies its significance. It is special, individual, and separate from all other rocks, making it rare and thereby making it valuable. It is true that you are human but that is like calling gold “mineral” or a diamond a “rock.” Even then this analogy falls short because there are billions of diamonds, billions of rocks that share the quality of being what we call diamond, but there is only one you. You are an individual. You are Courtney Folhos, and that is quite a rare thing. There is, and can only be, one of you.

All of this taken together teaches something very important. The most significant people in history have been the most unique. The most significant lives that have been lived were lived by those who magnified their individuality the most during the short time that was allotted them by their humanity. Louis Armstrong is significant because he brought a new kind of music to the world, and he did not do it by attempting to be “significant”; he did it by being himself. He played the music that he liked. He played what appealed to his ear, regardless of what the rest of the world thought to be “good music.” Louis Armstrong took what was unique to him, made it bigger, enlarged it, exercised it, and that is now what the world remembers.

Vincent Van Gogh simply drew what he saw. Yet, one look at Starry Night will show you that he saw differently than other people. He painted it anyway. During his lifetime he was not what we would consider a “successful” artist, yet he is now considered to be one of the most significant artists of all time. What made him significant? He was an individual. He showed us all who Van Gogh was and how he saw the world. He magnified his individuality. I know very little about art and yet I do not find it difficult to identify his paintings because they are unique. Vincent Van Gogh was himself, and for that he is remembered.

All of this talk of individuality, be it easy to write, is not so easy to perform, for at least two reasons. One, it means that you must know yourself, and that is a very difficult thing to do. Two, you must act upon what you know of yourself. The first of these takes discernment and the second requires courage. A.G. Sertillanges wrote, “Great men seem to us men of great boldness, in reality they are more obedient than others.” Once you know yourself as you are in reality, as you are in truth, will you obey that truth? Will you magnify your individuality? T. Alan Armstrong said, “If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you, and you will find great things happen for you, to you, and because of you.” All of us share the common characteristic of being human, but it is our individuality that gives us our purpose, and the same Book that tells of our commonality immediately thereafter tells of our individuality. We are all created in God’s image. That is our common lot and is characteristic of all mankind. But the Book goes on to say, “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them.” The differences in man and woman are that which gives them their purpose. The greatest husbands and fathers are those who magnify their differences from women and thereby fulfill the purpose for which God created them. Just the same, the greatest wives and mothers are those who magnify their differences from men. Men who try to be less of what they are, that is, less masculine, make poor husbands, fathers, and altogether they make poor men. Likewise, women who try to be less feminine, make poor wives, mothers, and altogether they make poor women. God created us to be different for a purpose. The world is bettered by our individuality, not our conformity.

Be who you are. You are yourself and there can be no other you. You are a diamond. Know yourself, and then show it to the world. I leave you with this quote from Walt Whitman that you and I both know well: “O ME! O life! ... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless—of cities fill’d with the foolish…what good amid these, O me, O life? Answer. That you are here—that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on; and you will contribute a verse” What will your verse be Courtney? Find who you are, and have the courage to follow it.